The Star That Shines

Monday 15/12

Here we go! Today was the day James has been long awaiting. He had his school Natividad assembly for all the parents. Matt took the morning off so he could come and see. James was playing one of the king men and had practiced his lines so much.

I loved watching him with his person. It was really well done! I am so proud of the staff and how much work and love they put in to these kids. James deliberes his like beautifully. He was so happy. Afterwards George ran over to him. He was so proud of his big brother too.

We then went home and Matt headed off to work. We relaxed at home and had some lunch before we headed back to the school. There was an afternoon performance for they parents who couldn’t make it. We went again to give James some smiles and love. He was so happy to see us again. George was so intranced by the play.

Afterwards we went over to James to give him a big hug. He is absolutely amazing. I am so proud of him. We then said goodbye and headed home. We were only there for a little bit before we came back to the school to pick up James.

We then headed off to the soft play. We were meant to come to this soft play last week but we had our bike tire pop and couldn’t{t make it work. But they were nice to let us reschedule our play for today without an extra cost. The boys were so pumped.

They were even more excited that it was not with our friends. They said because I could play with them. I decided I could give them my full attention for the next 2 hours. I really do love them so much and I want them to feel how much I love them and enjoy being with them.

After 10 minutes I started to get really hot but that didn’t stop me. We ran around and tried everything. I am amazed with how much energy they have. I had the best time with them. James was so sad to leave. I asked him why. He said he loved that they had me all to themselves.

We didn’t end the night there. We went to Wendys to have some dinner. The boys filled themselves up and chatted with me foro ages. This is what I want for our days. I love that we have had such a fun adventurous experiences with loads of friends. But now I am seeing the boys needing a shift. They want slow days filled with just us.

When we got home we Swedish Death Cleaned the board books by the bed. I was impresssed the boys got rid of so many! We then got ready for bed and all snuggled up together. I love these boys so much and they teach me everyday how to be a better mum.

Tuesday 16/12

The start of another day and I was feeling lighter. I am really loving the slow mornings. I crave them. George and I spent the morning after dropping off James just playing and cleaning. I feel such a weight off my shoulders when I have no plans and can focus on the house.

After George had his nap we then picked up James. They were so happy to gather as friends and then head off to my friend Rachel’s house. As soon as we got there we all ran straight to the trampoline. It was nice to see all my friends there too.

The boys had a massive wrestling match in the trampoline. I always get so nervous watching them but they were all pretty good at listening to each other. Boys like to get so physical. When the fire was ready we rushed over to get warmed up. We all got our marshmallows and then started to roast. I was a bit overstimulated with all the noise but I tried to remember to breath.

I felt quite disregulated for some reason and I tried to have patience with myself and those around me. I just feel like I am in such a fragile state while I am rearranging myself. The kids all headed inside for some Lego cooking videos and then we made a gingerbread train. They kids loved eating the sweets.

I then took the boys homem and left them with Matt as I went off to my friend Hannah’s house. She was having a cookie exchange and I was so excited to be with her and my friends. I was kinda missing tucking the boys into bed but I know I needed this. It was so lovely to chat with some of my best friends and make some new ones too! I was there until 10pm. I got on the train with my friend Veronica and we laughed so much together until we parted ways. I got home just before midnight.

Wednesday 17/12

At drop off the school staff were singing carols outside the school. We joined in. It brings so much joy to them and to me. I love seeing the sweet community we are in. We then said goodbye to James and went back home for a bit of rest and cleaning. Just before noon we got on the bike and headed off on our adventure.

We got to the Army Museum just as my friend Jenna did. George was so excited to see Brooks. They were so ready to play. We headed into the soft play and let them run wild. I loved having Jenna to myself and catching up on how our year has been.

Since Baby Theo has been born we have seen less of each other and I am sad about that. That is another reason I want to slow down is so I can be there for friends in their slow moments too. Jenna is a true joy and I feel so lucky to have her close friendship. We let the plays play it out until it was time to go.

When we went to go pick up James, his friend William came up to me and told me there was a party he wanted to invite James to tonight. A few of James’s friends were going. James asked me if we could go. We had booked a carol at the Tower of London at 7:30pm. James was sad. He asked again. I breathed and envisioned the two different paths I could choose. I turned to James and told him, yes. He was so joyful. I felt happy too. I really wanted to go to the Tower of London but not as much as the joy I can see in James. So we scootered to his friends Jackson house to meet up with everyone.

They were so happy to be together. They ran all over the house until it was time to go to the party. James and George were so happy as they played party games with their friends. They let out so much energy. I loved chatting with my friends too. When the party was over we headed home. The boys were so happy. I was happy and proud of myself for choosing them. When Matt got home we got ready for bed.

Thursday 18/12

Only two more days left of school! James went to school happily knowing he was at the end. The staff were once again outside so we joined in with joy. James and George loved grabbing instruments and singing along. Once James went into school George and I headed back home to rest for a bit.

Just before lunch we headed out. It was raining so much so we decided to take scooters to the tube. George was so happy that he could scooter so much. When we got to South Kensington I met up with my friend Heather. It was so good to see her. We headed into Five Guys for some lunch.

Once our tummies were filled we headed to the chapel. It was still raining so much so we took the underground tunnel to the church. We then settled in the nursery and chatted as the boys played. I loved every minute I got to chat with Heather. George was not in the best mood since he was a bit constipated. But I know he loves being with Maxwell.

Although George reminds me constantly during the day that he misses James and that things are more fun with James. I know. I feel the same. Because we didn’t take the bike George didn’t nap and it was obvious. Once we picked up James we headed back home to play. George didn’t even make it to 6pm. He was begging for bed. So I got some extra time with James after George went down. Then we join George in bed and snuggled up.

Friday 19/12

Here it was! We made it to the last day of school! Drop off was filled with joy and we joined in on the Christmas Carols. It was the sweetest feeling. Everyone was so happy. We said goodbye to James and then scootered back home.

No plans that morning so we just took it easy. George and I got busy at building the parcel that came yesterday. Along with the Swedish Death Cleaning I am rearranging the space we have. I have decided to start in the bedroom since that is our space. It has been hard work seeing 1% progress every day but it’s progress! And I am proud of myself for being persistent! I hope that by the end of the holiday I have redone our bedroom and the entryway. It feels so nice to see the new organised areas. George has been very helpful as well.

After George’s nap we Picked James up and cycled to my friend Veronica’s house. James came out with so much joy. School had finished! The cycle was so lovely through Notting Hill. I can’t wait until summer and this ride is bright and warm.

We made it to Veronica’s house before the sun went down this time because Friday’s are when James gets out early. James was so excited to see his friends. He is still warming up to them but they are the loveliest kids. I love to see them really get into it.

Veronica and I just sat around and chatted. I have so much fun with her. She is like a sister to me. We were both feeling low on energy so it was perfect haha! We had dinner together and once I was able to peel the boys away we cycled home. Finally the holiday had began. We got home just in to for bedtime with Matt.

Saturday 20/12

It was a slow morning. I am bummed that I am not getting free time at night anymore because George is angry and gets out of bed when I am not there. So I have been stuck in bed until he feels safe again. So this means I have been slowly following behind on everything. The boys were so happy that morning.

Since we are basically a moving site in the house there is so much recycling the boys can use to play and that is what they did. James was so persistent when it came with building with the materials. I loved seeing their creativity. Just before George’s nap we had some wrestling which was the highlight of the day.

When George woke up we got the bike ready and we headed out into the centre of the city. It was the first Saturday we had no plans and I still haven’t seen a lot of the London lights. So today was the day. No one else was in the mood. But we carried on.

The traffic of cars and people was insane! Matt was so on alert with the pedestrians that would cross like it wasn’t a rode. We first went down Bond Street to the high end shops. They spare no expense when it comes to putting up lights.

We then cycled to Annabel’s. This Christmas displays is always the best one. It looks like Narnia was being opened up. The boys loved sitting there looking at it. But soon they got in a wrestling game with each other. They have such a good time together.

We then made our way back towards Piccadilly. Our route took us back through busy Bond Street again. But the boys didn’t mind. I love seeing the advent calendar on Fortumn & Mason. We were going to stop at Waterstones to grab some books but noticing how busy it was we decided to keep going.

So on we went towards Tottenham Court Road Station. The boys loved passing through Piccadilly Circus. There are so many lights that it almost seemed like it was the middle of the day. I was glad for the stop and go traffic so I could take in all the lights.

At Tottenham Court Road we stopped at the Now Building to see the immersive screens. Every year they have the best Christmas experience and so we waited to see what was on. George was totally into it. We then walked over to the new Christmas Market to get the best cinnamon rolls. They were heavenly.

The last lights I wanted to see in the area were the Regent Street Angels. It was so amazing cycling under them. The first time I had seen this light Matt and I had travelled to London for our second anniversary just 2 weeks before James was born.

Then the last thing I had on my list was to see the lights in Chelsea. We see the Ever After rose garden ever year but unfortunately we missed it. Apparently they had ended just a few days ago and I forgot to check. But there were still decorations we could see up close.

Then just down the road was Knoops. So we headed over and had some hot chocolate and milkshakes. We love Knoops so much. We treated the boys to a marshmallows for being such good sports. We then cycled home just in time for bed. 3 hours of lights in one evening. We all fell asleep so fast.

Sunday 21/12

We all made it to church early because we knew it was combined with the other ward and we wanted to make sure we got a parking spot. The chapel probably had 300 people. It was packed. My friend Logan came over and sat with us in the front. The boys were so happy to be near their friends.

Once sacrament was over we went upstairs to primary. I went with George to nursery which was the last time he would be in there! I can’t believe he will be in primary in a couple of weeks! My little sunbeam. I really need to step up with my gospel teaching at home. We then took the tube home since Matt had to pick up something.

That something that he picked up was from a collection I ordered a few days ago. James’s new wardrobe. George has grown out of his wardrobe and was now going to have James’s wardrobe. James was going to have a taller one since he is growing so fast.

It took a few hours but the job was done and it felt so much better in the room. The Swedish Death Cleaning in the bedroom. It is starting to feel so much lighter and peaceful. We noticed that not all of James’s clothes fits in his wardrobe so we need to head to Ikea to get some add ons. Falling asleep was so peaceful. I love the new shift we are taking. It’s not a quick and easy process but I feel the peace of the first steps we have taken.